Kindness Isn’t Weakness-It’s Survival! Inspired by Chris Williamson’s recent reflection

Chris Williamson said something recently that completely rearranged my thoughts:

“I’d rather be 5–10% worse and kind to myself than 5–10% better and never satisfied.”

That hit me in the gut because I’ve lived both versions.

He said it during what he called the biggest seven days of his career. A time that should’ve been full of celebration. He was on Joe Rogan, held one of the most raw, brilliant, truth-packed conversations to date, and still, all he could focus on was what he could’ve done better.

And honestly… same.

I’ve been there. I live there.

Caught between moments that should feel monumental, and the haunting hum of imposter syndrome whispering, “Not good enough.”

It’s like my brain can’t recognize success unless it’s dissected, judged, and ripped apart first.

Why is showing up for ourselves so hard?

Why does being kind to ourselves feel like a luxury we don’t deserve?

Especially for those of us shaped by trauma. Kindness doesn’t come naturally. It feels unearned. Suspicious. Conditional.

And when you’re an empath on top of that?

Forget it.

We feel everything. The weight of the room, the pain in someone else’s silence, the unspoken tension in a sentence. It’s raw. It’s unrelenting. It’s a layer of existence that very few people truly understand.

Lately, this self-critical loop has followed me into so many areas of life.

I filmed a “Who’s Who” executive video. Seventeen years of history in the casino industry. All about me, my story, my journey. I should’ve been proud. I should’ve seen the legacy in it.

But instead? I watched it back and tore it to shreds.

I’ve lost sleep over the fact that it might get posted. Not because it’s bad, but because I couldn’t stop fixating on every word, every glance, every moment I felt wasn’t “enough.”

And don’t even get me started on relationships.

Have you ever seen We Bought a Zoo? There’s this quote that completely leveled me this week:

“Sometimes all you need is 20 seconds of insane courage. Just literally 20 seconds of just embarrassing bravery. And I promise you, something great will come of it.”

I almost had my twenty seconds.

I felt it coming… and then I panicked.

I spiraled. I crashed and burned and gave myself a full PowerPoint presentation of reasons why it would never work, why I’d mess it up, why I’m too much or not enough or all the things trauma likes to whisper when you’re on the edge of something beautiful.

But here’s the thing. It’s all I want.

It’s all I see in my future.

And maybe there isn’t a Chris Williamson quote for that particular flavor of self-sabotage… but maybe there should be.

But what’s the upside? What’s the tradeoff?

I would hope, no, I choose to believe, that the plus side is the outrage of love we’re capable of.

The way we love with our whole hearts.

The way we show up for others, even when we don’t know how to show up for ourselves.

The way we create connections so deep, they feel stitched into our soul.

It’s the tenderness in our toughness.

The fierce loyalty.

The desire to understand, not just exist beside.

It’s being the kind of friend, partner, or parent that builds unbreakable relationships… because we know what it feels like to be broken.

So yes, I still catch myself being my own worst critic.

But I’m learning, slowly, that perfection is not the price of worthiness.

I don’t have to earn rest.

I don’t have to be better, faster, or smarter to deserve grace.

And neither do you.

At the end of the day, I sat and watched the video of Chris.

And as raw as it was, and lord knows how fucking difficult that must’ve been to share, he still did it.

And man… that? That takes courage.

It’s hard enough to share these blogs. It’s hard enough to speak your truth when your voice is shaking.

But I felt everything he said. His expressions, his thoughts, his feelings… all of it.

Because I’ve been there. I live there.

So at the end of the day, when it’s all said and done…

When we’re standing in the mirror looking at ourselves…

Or replaying a video…

Or interviewing for something new…

Or talking to someone who just might change our lives…

Or standing at the edge of the biggest leap of faith we’ve ever considered…

Remember this.

It’s better to be 5–10% worse and kind to yourself,

than 5–10% better and never satisfied.

Because that kindness?

That’s where healing begins.

That’s where peace starts to grow.

That’s where you finally start to feel like… maybe you’re enough.